Rhi After Dark
by Rhiannamator
Summary: Series of short shots written off the cuff. Silly, sweet, smutty, serious or sappy, they're all here, & they're all pretty fun. Take a stroll thru the randomness that is my brain, won't you?
1. Something Fishy

**When the sun sets on my twitter timeline, so begins RhiAfterDark. This is the time I'm a bit looser with my slash talk, and sometimes – just sometimes – you might even see a twitterfic. Bedtime Story was the result of one of these. I decided (JoMoFan-Spot decided) that I needed a place to update these spontaneous ficlets in edited, formatted form. This story is rated M in case of future twitterporn, and tagged Edge because, well, it's from me.**

**Title: Rhi After Dark, Chapter 1: Something Fishy  
><strong>**Rating: T  
><strong>**Warnings: Language, innuendo, dick talk  
><strong>**Summary: Jay is land-bound and Adam lives in the sea, but neither could ask for a better friend. Crackfic-ish.**

Narrator: Once upon a time on a vast stretch of sandy beach, there lived a Jay.

Jay: Hi. I'm Jay. And this is my beach.

N: We've already established that.

Jay: Just trying to be helpful.

N: I got it, thanks. Know your role and shut your mouth.

Jay: *snort*

N: Anyway. Not too far from Jay's beach house was a lovely lagoon, where lived a fabulous mermaid named Adam.

Adam: Really? A mermaid? *looks down to see shells on chest, and a red and black fish tail* Oh, for the love of fuck.

N: Make the best of it.

Adam: *sigh* Behold! I am the mystical Siren of the Sea! Luring men to their rocky deaths with my beauty and sweet song!

Jay: More like their boats crash because everyone's running around with busted eardrums. I love you buddy, but Adam, please stop singing.

Adam: *huffs* Oh hey, aren't there people on this timeline that get offended when you use our real names?

N: Yeah, not really caring. This is my goddamn story, I'll call you whatever I fucking well please. And whoever heard of a mermaid called Edge?

Jay: Yeah, because it makes SO much more sense to have one named Adam.

Adam: It's better than Madison, anyway. And what's with the N?

N: It stands for Narrator. Now, lemme narrate. Over the years, Jay and Adam formed a strong bond of friendship. Because Adam couldn't leave the water, Jay would visit Adam's home, and they spent many hours in the open ocean. They whiled away their time swimming or fishing, or simply talking while Adam rested his arms on the side of the raft Jay had built.

Jay: *eyes Adam* This is sweet and all, but do I have to fuck the fish?

Adam: *running hands through hair* Please, you'd love to do me.

N: No. You're different species. Incompatible.

Jay: Does Adam even have a dick?

N: Shit.. I forgot about that. Huh.

Jay: You? Forget about cock? Unlikely.

N: Let's just gloss over that little detail.

Adam: Little? And no! You are not glossing over my penis!

Jay: *snickers*

N: Look, I said this won't be twitterporn, you wouldn't be using it anyway. Let's move on. Now, despite this odd friendship, Jay began to long for a different kind of companionship.

…

*nudges Jay*

Jay: Oh! I have a line. Ahem. My bed sure is lonely. Wait, that's it?

N: Well, I never promised an epic soliloquy. Many people came to the beach, but none really caught Jay's attention.

Jay: Yeah. Beach bums, surfer stoners & body builders aren't my thing.

Adam: *wryly* You don't think long-haired blond surfers totally reek of awesomeness, dude? And we all know you don't go for hardbodies.

Jay: Are you implying I'm a chubby chaser?

Adam: You're always paired with Matt & Jericho. Just sayin.

Jay: *lips quirk* What can i say? Daddy likes something to hold onto. *sweetly* I'm also paired with you, Princess. When's the last time you had a cut six-pack? 2004?

Adam: *gasp* RUDE. I have a great body, thank you very much. *flexes*

N: *drools*

Jay: Albeit a dickless body at the moment.

Adam: NOT TRUE! I just.. have to find it is all. *distressed*

N: Are you guys done yet? Ahem. As time passed, Jay grew more and more agitated with his situation, building a frustration that even Adam's sweet, talented mouth couldn't alleviate.

Jay: *frustrated*

Adam: I thought he wasn't gonna fuck the fish.

N: I was trying to stuff your mouth to shut you up. Apparently, it's not working. Adam, being the gentle-hearted Siren he was, hated to see his friend hurting so.

Adam: Aw, poor Jay. I'll find him someone.*splashes off*

Jay: Was that in the script?

N: Yes.

Jay: Oh. Okay. *back to being frustrated*

N: Adam searched the ocean far and wide, peering into ships and boats for that special person who could keep his friend relaxed and happy, someone Jay could take all his stress-

Jay: And frustration!

N: *rolls eyes* and frustration out on. Finally he found just what he was looking for.

Adam: I'm so good.

N: Yes. You are. Hush up. Adam spied a rather pretty boy working as a sailor on a pirate ship. He watched the redhead for a while-

Jay: Ooh, I think I know where this is going!

N: Everyone does. Stop interrupting. He watched the redhead, noting how eager and hardworking he was, always trying to please, but no one paid his efforts any mind. Then something even more special happened. One of the other sailors earned lashes for insubordination, getting tied to the mast and whipped. Adam saw the glitter in the redhead's brown eyes as he watched the lashing, heard the longing sigh escape his chest.

Adam: That's definitely the one.

N: Adam caught the sailor-boy's attention. Having never seen a real live mermaid before, the redhead wanted a closer look, and was easily lured into a dinghy that hung from the side of the ship.

Jay: *snickers* Dinghy.

N: Back on the island, Jay paced the beach, waiting impatiently for Adam's return. He had something to tell him. Jay didn't know why Adam had left him when he needed distraction the most, but he desperately wanted his friend back.

Adam: Aw, you miss me?

Jay: Course i do, Fatso.

N: Ah, breathe in that rad bromance. Anyhow, Jay spied a small boat speeding towards the lagoon, and he ran to tell whoever it was to get away from his friend's home. When he got there, he saw a familiar blonde in the water, pulling the tiny boat by a tow rope.

Adam: Hi! I brought you a present! Look!

N: Jay checked in the dinghy-

Jay/Adam: *snicker*

N: and saw a pretty, bound redhead. The poor guy was gagged and obviously annoyed, flushed and struggling as he was, but his expression changed when he saw the handsome, studly blonde peering down at him.

Jay: Thank you. *smugface*

N: You're welcome.

Adam: It's a Heath!

Heath: Mmmhmmmpphh!

Adam: You like? You can unwrap him now.

Jay: I like very much. Thank you, Adam. I think I'll take him as is.

N: Jay hugged his best friend, then hefted the bound, gagged man over his shoulder. In his hurry to get home, Jay almost forgot to tell Adam that while he was gone, Jay had met someone he thought Adam might like. Jay pointed to Adam's favorite sitting rock and trotted off with his new toy. Curious, Adam swam further into his lagoon and to his rock. Sitting there waiting was a gorgeous merman, his purple tail shimmering green in the sunlight, a peridot hue that matched his eyes. Eyes that were now looking at Adam in a way that made him tingle to the tips of his fins.

Jeff: Hi. I'm Jeff.

Adam: *gulps* I think I just found my dick.

Jeff: *smirks* And I think I know where I'm about to hide mine.

N: And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END


	2. Just A Taste

**Esha Napoleon, Debwood-1999, LadyDragonsblood, Thank you so much, i'm glad i could make ppl smile & laugh! I live for that shit. JoMoFan-spot, You have us totally whipped. & we love it. Come to think of it, i don't think i have seen Adam as a mermaid before, lol! I'd wanna fuck the fish. :P I'm rather find of the finding & hiding dick exchange myself. xD enigmatic-raven, Blazing Glory, takers dark lover, Oh, i'm so happy ppl enjoyed that chap. Thank you all so much for your kind words!**

**Title: Rhi After Dark, Chapter 2: Just A Taste  
><strong>**Rating: T  
><strong>**Warnings: Mild Language, angst  
><strong>**Summary: Sometimes desire spins out of control.**

_**Tonight I decided to try something a little different on twitter. Figured it would be a fun writing exercise. I started with this**_**: ****Who's up for a ****RhiAfterDark**** game? Someone send me the opening lines of a story in one tweet, I'll see if i can make a spontaneous ****twitterfic**** .**

_**Seraph responded (neonaxelgrease here on FF, she's an amazing writer) with this:**_** All he wanted was a taste. ****goforit ****Imencouragingthisbehaviorlol**

All he wanted was a taste. That was all. How had it come to this?

He leaned back against the wall in the bathroom, then thumped his head against the plaster behind him before letting his body slide to the ground. He put his arms around himself, listening to the water in the shower patter against the tiles. It wouldn't be warm yet. He wanted it hot. Scalding hot, let the steam billow over him so maybe he could sweat out the disgusting feeling that seemed to lay just under his skin. God, he was disgusting.

It has started out so simple, so innocent. Just a taste, that was all. What harm was there in that? But fuck, it was too tempting. He couldn't stop, and as the months went on he indulged himself more and more. He craved it. Needed it. He loved the way it made him feel, the rush he got. And the taste. Fuck.

He knew his lover wouldn't mind. His beloved was just like that. Believed in the freedom of feeling good, didn't worry much about consequences. But he did. Every time he let himself lose control like that, he felt so dirty and helpless. So he hid. He sneaked around behind his man's back, and that wasn't good. It wasn't right and made him feel even more gross. Maybe he was an addict. Was there rehab for this shit? He snorted to himself. That was just silly.

He sighed and fisted his hair, knowing that the water was ready for him now. He could see the vapor rise above the shower door. He sighed again, looked down at his naked body and shuddered, then let his eyes slide once again to the bathroom scale. Just then, the door opened and his boyfriend poked his head in.

"Hey Adam, did you- what are you doing on the floor?"

He rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sorry, Jeff. I just.. ugh, ten pounds! Ten!"

Jeff smirked at him. "Maybe you should stop sneaking ice cream after i go to bed. Oh yeah, i know what you do. Now get ready, we gotta go & i can't find my wallet."

He sighed and got to his feet, stepping into the shower and hissing at the heat. He didn't want to ask, but he had to. He raised his voice loud over the roar of water. "Hey, Jeff? Can we go to Dairy Queen after?"

The End.

**Ah, short little ficlet. I know it wasn't a laugh riot like last one, but i hope it made you giggle. :)**


	3. Capt Christy Casual Cruisin

**I've gotten first-line tweets as prompts for more RhiAfterDark fics, & i'll try to get to them bc I like the challenge (thanks guys!), but it may take a few weeks. LadyDragonsblood, Hehe, the baby is so predictable. Saw the tweet, should be fun! Thanks! JoMoFan-spot, Isn't he just the biggest drama queen? All that for 10 pounds. Thank you, Babygirl. Debwood-1999, Esha Napoleon, m.j's place, Thank you, i'm only too happy to deal out the giggles. xD takers dark lover, Well, he is an addict after all, lol! Blazing Glory, Yeah, he was talking about the ice cream. You want sequel where they deal w/ Adam's ice cream withdrawal? ;) Hm.. x-heel-luvver-x, LOL! I would spoil the baby, too. Glad you're enjoying them! I dunno if they'll always be upbeat, depends where the mood takes me, but we're having fun so far.**

**Title: Rhi After Dark, chapter 3, Capt Christy Casual Cruisin  
><strong>**Rating: T  
><strong>**Warnings: Some language, innuendo, thongs, practical jokes  
><strong>**Summary: Hijinks aboard Jay's personal yacht**

**Okay, so this wasn't technically RhiAfterDark, since it was during the day (bored at work) and the actual story part was posted on my muse account (RhiMused), but it's still a twitter fic. I'll start with the set-up from the Rhiannamator account. (bold are hashtags)**

_Came across a boat rental place called Capt Christy Casual Cruisin. I now have visions of Christian manning a luxury yacht. __His bitches Edge & Heath are sunning themselves on the deck in their thongs, Morrison brings a martini to Miz, who has an arm thrown __around Jericho. JoMo sits on his other side, because there's always room for one Mor. __**BadPun **__**IRegretNothing**_

_Shawn is trying to teach Hunter how to catch a marlin. And, as always, there's a Hardy or two in the hot tub. __Heh, Punk is perched cross-legged on the bow, trying to hide a grin behind his hand as Colt sets up some slapstick practical joke on someone. __Prolly putting blue dye in Heath's suntan lotion or something. Poor Ginger is usually the butt of their jokes. __**NoClueWhereThisIsComingFrom**_

On Capt Christy's yacht-

Heath: *went swimming, now climbing up ladder onto deck, dripping and shaking wet hair back*

Jay: *eyes Heath appreciatively as he dries himself with a towel and rubs it through hair*

Adam: Hey, you're dripping on me.

Heath: *giggles* Sorry.

Adam: *grumbles and takes off sunglasses, rolling over to sun his backside*

Jeff: Ooh, pop that ass, sugar.

Adam: *smirks with eyes closed and wiggles hips*

Jeff: *hisses*

Jay: *rolls eyes and shakes head fondly at his little slut*

Heath: *sits down and starts to spread suntan lotion over one arm and chest, looks down and stops short* Sonuva... *shows blue palm to all*

Punk: *falls off railing and onto deck, howling with laughter as Colt guffaws*

Heath: Motherfuckers!

Jay: *hides a smirk* Down, Cherry.

Heath: *on feet, ready to shove lotion bottle up someone's ass* They turned me into a goddamn Smurf!

Punk: *laughs harder, tears streaming*

Miz: *chuckling* Adam, your Smurfette status is being challenged.

Adam: *yawns* Whatever.

Jay: *snaps fingers* I said down.

Heath: *pouts and kneels at Jay's feet*

Jay: Good pet. *strokes hair*

Heath: I'll probably be blue for days, the bastards.

Jay: Don't you worry, precious. *smugface* Daddy will take care of them. Go wash off.

Heath: *gets up and kisses Jay's cheek* Thank you, Daddy. *turns away & squeaks when ass is swatted, scurries off*

In the Capt's cabin bathroom-

Adam: *scrubbing at faded blue stain* Well Cherry, i think that's the best we're gonna get tonight. Don't wanna rub your skin off.

Heath: *sighs* Thanks, Mama. Why're they so mean to me?

Adam: *grins and ruffles hair* Gotta rib the newbies.

Jay: *strolls in* How my little Smurfettes doin?

Adam: *wipes off hands with towel and gets up* He'll survive, and Imma go see Jeff. *kisses Jay's lips sweetly and goes to rummage in medicine cabinet*

Jay: Have fun, baby. *traces outline of blue on Heath's chest* My poor precious.

Heath: *pouts up at Jay with big brown eyes*

Adam: You seen the Icy Hot? Jeff always twists me up in the weirdest positions.

Jay: *innocently* Nope. *takes tube of lube out of pocket, tosses it up and catches*

*Punk & Colt's screams reverberate throughout yacht*

Adam: You didn't. Oh that's messed up.

Jay: *smugface* Teach them to mess with mine on my boat.

Adam: *giggles* Glad you're on my side. *kisses and leaves* Night, boys.

Jay: C'mon, Cherry. Lets go to bed. *gives Heath lube and pulls him up, leering*

Heath: *looks at tube* Ooh, mango flavored. *follows Jay to bed*

**Colt and Punk really should look twice at their lube if they're gonna be playing practical jokes on people... *smh***


	4. Moment of Silence

**Debwood-1999, Hehe, thanks for stalking me. I always love to see tweets from you. :) Esha Napoleon, *hands you a towel* Thanks, hun. x-heel-luvver-x, Yes, there is mango, i actually have some! xP Thanks for enjoying! M.j's place, Hehe, yeah, i have some idea. I love to make ppl giggle. Thank you! ****takers dark lover, Daddy takes care, lol. Thanks :)**

**Title: Rhi After Dark, chapter 4, Moment Of Silence  
>Rating: T<br>Warnings: Some language, innuendo, cliches, nekkid cuddling, cheesy dreck  
>Summary: Jay &amp; Heath celebrate their first anniversary. Total fluff.<strong>

**A/N: Welcome to my new OTP. Get used to it. Of course, top in my heart will always be Jedam, but there's room for these guys, too. I've been suffering hellish writer's block & this was an attempt to shake some of the rust off. Hey, even the goofiest couples have their gag-me fluffy moments. Also, this is what happens when Muses Billy & Heath overdose on ice cream & collaborate.**

Had it been a year already? Didn't seem like it. It seemed like only last week Jay had grabbed him, pressed him against the wall and laid his claim. Of course, Heath thought with a smirk, Jay had done that last week, too. Still, one year later, Heath still caught Jay looking at him like he was some kind of wonderful dream that might vanish at any minute, and in return Jay never ceased to surprise the redhead. Like today, for instance.

Jay usually wasn't a terribly romantic sort, relying on affectionate teasing and midnight cuddles to convey how he felt about his vixen. Today, however, was their anniversary. Heath himself hadn't even remembered until Jay mentioned it. Not only did he mention it, but he'd sprung for a suite at their next destination, complete with Jacuzzi and champagne. It wasn't Jay's style, which made the gesture even more adorable. He followed his blonde down the hall to the huge double doors, checking out the back of his jeans as Jay leaned down to unlock the door. Damn.

"Oh my god. Fucking really?" Heath stared at his boyfriend with an incredulous grin on his face, shaking his head. Jay scratched at the back of his neck and shrugged.

"Overdid it, huh? Well, i didn't know what color you liked."

Heath suppressed a laugh as he gazed around at the dozens of roses in the sitting area, each bouquet a different shade. "Naw, this is gorgeous, Daddy. Thank you." Heath hugged his Jay, still shaking his head in disbelief. "I never would have expected it."

"Anything for my vixen," Jay assured, tapping Heath on the nose with his finger, and this time Heath did laugh.

"Well, right now your vixen needs a drink," he said, and went to toss his carry-on in the bedroom and change out of travel wear and into bar-hopping wear. They were meeting some of the others for drinks before coming back and really starting the celebration. Heath paused in the doorway of the bedroom, carry-on dangling from one hand.

"What's wrong, precious?" Jay asked, coming up behind him. Heath shook his head, sorrowful brown eyes on the enormous bed before him.

"I just.. i feel so damn bad for that poor bed, Daddy. I mean, it really doesn't stand a chance tonight, does it?" Jay pressed his lips together and draped an arm over his pet's shoulder, his other hand on his hip.

"I'm afraid not. We should have a moment of silence for it," Jay said, and bowed his head. Heath tried to stop the grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth and crossed himself, and Jay sighed, shaking his head. After only a second, Jay looked up. "Welp, let's get this show on the road, huh?" He moved his arm to curl around Heath's neck, bring him just a smidge closer and whacked his pet in the chest with a wide palm before letting him go. Heath coughed as Jay went to open a suitcase. Fuck, but those huge hands hurt sometimes. He rubbed the center of his chest where he was sure a red mark had formed and smiled. Maybe Jay would put those huge hands to work on his ass later.

o~o~o

Jay collapsed onto his lover, earning a grunt from the redhead whose death-grip on Jay's shoulders loosened. Panting, he nuzzled into Heath's neck, his unfocused eyes roaming over a riot of blurred colors. Yellow, peach, white, red, crimson so dark it was almost purple, every shade of pink he imagined & some he hadn't. He let himself ride the waves of his pet's heaving breaths for a moment then moved off Heath, rolling onto his side & smiling when his vixen snuggled back against his body. Velvety petals stuck to the sweat that coated them both and rustled beneath them as they shifted. Yeah, he'd totally overdone the roses. Still, despite Heath's flippant remarks, Jay had seen the gleam in those mahogany eyes. With that admittedly cheesy gesture, he'd made his Heath feel as precious as Jay knew him to be. He didn't regret a single petal. One hand curled against Heath's chest while the other brushed aside long strands of red, giving him access to kiss his pet's shoulder, and he savored the taste of Heath's salt on his lips.

"This one," Heath murmured, and Jay blinked.

"What one what?"

"This is the color I like," he replied, holding up a petal between two fingers. White edged with a deep, dark pink. The blonde gazed at it for a moment, briefly wondering if Heath would choose that as their wedding flowers, then shoved the thought away. He very well might ask him that someday, a ways down the line, but for now he just pulled his vixen's warm, curvy body closer and kissed his cheek.

"Love you, precious," he whispered, feeling the heavy tug of sleep on his eyelids. He couldn't wait to wake up next to Heath in the morning.

"Love you, too," Heath mumbled, then yawned. They ended their first year as Jay hoped they'd end many more, snuggled together and drifting into a peaceful sleep.


	5. Night Bonds

**Esha Napoleon, takers dark lover, Thank you much! x-heel-luvver-x, I read a poem about red-edged white roses once, something like purity tipped w/passion or something. I wish i could find it, the concept stuck w/me. Blazing Glory, His heart was def in the right place. Sweet Daddy. DragonBby, Thanks for reviewing all 4 chaps! I'm glad i could make you laugh. :D**

**Title: Rhi After Dark, chapter 5, Night Bonds  
>Rating: M<br>Warnings: Language, Jedam smut, vampires  
>Summary: Adam offers Jeff a new life.<strong>

**This was written for **DesertEagle16, who needed a distraction on twitter & is a total vampire whore. ****

Adam followed the rainbow-haired hottie down the street. He'd been following him for a while, noting his furtive glances and wild green eyes. He was sneaking off somewhere, and Adam thought he knew the destination. Sure enough, the guy ducked into the expected alley. Anyone could have missed the move, but Adam was watching closely, and not much escaped his senses. The tall blonde rushed after him, hoping to catch him before he reached the door to the club.

"Hey!" Adam called, approaching the other man, who had his fist raised to the door, ready to knock. Green eyes narrowed, then rolled in irritation.

"Go away," he said, but Adam only drew closer, leaning forward to lower his voice.

"Are you one of them?" Adam asked, knowing the answer. The other man chewed his full bottom lip, regarding Adam warily, and Adam had to resist the urge to press his own lips to that mouth, sucking in that delectable lower lip.

"You know about this place?" he asked the blonde, and Adam nodded.

"I'm Adam. What's your name?" Names had power. If he could only hear this man's name.. but he folded his arms.

"You can call me Enigma." Adam repressed a sigh. It was okay, he'd learn this Enigma's name eventually.

"You didn't answer my other question," Adam pointed out. "Are you one of them..? No. I can see it in your eyes. You're fidgeting. You're a feeder."

Enigma twitched. "Yeah? What the fuck do you know? I bet you're just a fuckin wannabe. Get the fuck away so they'll let me in." Enigma turned away, but Adam didn't leave.

"I know plenty about it. More than you, I bet. I know you need it. They get their hunger eased, you get your fix," Adam said, brushing Enigma's hair back from his neck, and the other man jerked away. Adam gave him a gentle smile. "I also know something better. Way better," Adam said with a giggle, and Enigma snorted.

"Bullshit. Nothing is better." Adam wet his lips and grinned.

"I am. Come with me," he said, taking Enigma's hands and leading him away. Enigma started to follow as if in a daze, then shook his head, balking.

"No. You're mind-fucking me. You're one of them, you bitch. First rule is not to go off alone with one of you. Shit..."

It was Adam's turn to snort. "Their rules. This club is a joke to us, Enigma. I saw you though. I knew you were strong, and you just proved it. I need someone strong. Can you be strong for me, Enigma?" Adam asked, running his tongue over his long canines. "I can give you all you need, more than they could."

Those green eyes narrowed again. "What do you get out of it? I'm not going to be some vamp's human servant."

Adam giggled at that. "No, you wouldn't, or you'd already be kept. That's why you go to this shitty, impersonal club, fed from anonymously & sent on your way. I want more than that, Enigma. I've been watching you a while. I don't want a servant. I want a companion, a liaison to the sunlit world. We could help each other. And besides," Adam added, leaning in to nip lightly at Enigma's earlobe, "i am a fantastic lay."

o~o~o

Jeff allowed himself to be led to a hotel. Swanky joint, more than Jeff could afford, but vamps had their ways of acquiring wealth. Along the way Adam had explained that he wouldn't reveal his true dwelling until he was sure they were bonded. Jeff couldn't really fault him his caution; after all, Jeff could change his mind and stake him in the day. Who knows how long Adam had lived, but one didn't walk the Earth long as a child of the night by being stupid and careless. He didn't know if this was a good idea, but what did he have to lose? Ever since his brother had been bitten by a werewolf and his family had learned that the things that go bump in the night were true, Jeff's existence had been falling apart. He'd almost been hoping one of the vamps would get carried away and bleed him dry, but that never happened. Not in the club.

Adam was the first thing that had interested him in a long time. He was beautiful and persuasive, even without the mindfuck powers. It might feel good to have a purpose again.. as long as he wasn't going to be a human servant. He'd seen those dead-eyed fucks wandering around before and wanted no part of it.

Adam took Jeff to a modest room on an upper floor and shut the door behind them. "It's not much," Adam said, "but if I have my way we won't be here long. I want you to be mine as soon as possible, then we can go home. First, I just need your name."

Jeff frowned. "Yours? I thought you said you didn't want a servant. You'll have to kill me before I agree to that, or give you my name. I know what names can do."

Adam raked his long tresses from his face, tilting his head. "You know what power names hold? Then consider the fact that I gave you mine. And I could compel you to hand over your wallet right now if I wanted to. I told you, Enigma. I don't want a servant. Why would I seek out your strength just to sap it?"

The vampire had a point. "Okay then, how do we go about making me your companion or whatever? Am I just going to be your personal feeder that runs errands during the day?"

Adam shrugged. "Something like that. It can be a little more... intimate." Adam smirked and stepped close, trailing long fingers over Jeff's chest. Damn, but Adam was pretty. The blonde hovered his pouty lips over Jeff's, and Jeff could almost taste the sweet copper on his shallow breath. As a feeder, Jeff automatically associated the scent of blood with intense pleasure. He wanted this vampire, and badly. A soft tongue flicked over Jeff's lips, and Adam breathed, "Your name."

Jeff blinked. There was no familiar haze of being mind-fucked, just pure animal seduction and a simple question. Could he really trust Adam? Adam had trusted him with his name... "Jeff," he said, then crushed his mouth to Adam's, pulling him closer by the back of his neck and tangling tattooed fingers into those blond locks. Jeff's tongue flicked against Adam's mouth and lips parted to allow him entrance. Adam moaned into his mouth as his tongue found a long sharp fang, deliberately cutting into the muscle and bleeding into the vampire's mouth. Adam whimpered and caressed own his tongue over the shallow wound as Jeff shivered and pulled that hard body closer, grinding his hips into Adam's. So, vampires could get erections, too. Not as cold and undead as Jeff had feared. No, this was wonderful, having this powerful being melting into his embrace, feeding at his mouth. Maybe this companion thing wouldn't be so bad.

Clothes landed in heaps around the hotel room. Every inch of Adam that Jeff uncovered was perfect, marble skin and lean muscles. Jeff's tan and tattooed form was a stark contrast to the vampire as they wound together, inching closer to the bed as mouths devoured each other. Adam stayed in control of his fangs, a nick here and there, but no biting. Not yet. Jeff longed for it, offering his neck, but Adam resisted. Jeff growled in frustration and shoved Adam onto the bed, his golden hair bouncing against the sheets, and Adam laughed.

"Ooh, so vicious. Think you can tame me, Jeff? I'm stronger, faster. I could kill you faster than you could blink." Jeff's upper lip curled up in a snarl, and he pounced on the vampire, knowing that Adam was letting him pin his shoulders down to the mattress. It didn't matter that Adam was stronger. What mattered was Adam had let him.

"You won't kill me," Jeff purred, nipping at Adam's throat. "You said yourself you wanted me. You want this." He grabbed a handful of Adam's hair and tugged hard, yanking his head back. "Big bad vampire needs a human like me to take him. How fucking humiliating that must be. You're not a big bad at all. Just a needy slut."

Adam whimpered, eyes rolling as his lids fluttered, "No. You bastard, i could..."

"Shut up," Jeff growled, and heard an answering growl in Adam's chest. Adam's lips curled back from his large teeth, and suddenly Jeff was flying through the air. He hit the wall, his shoulder grazing the dresser on the way. Flames of pain burst across his skin and through his back, but Jeff shook his head, looking up to glare at the naked vampire on the bed. Adam was glaring right back and grinning, feral and somehow playful. Then Adam's eyes widened and his nostrils flared. Jeff thought he knew why when he felt the trickle down the back of his shoulder. He was scraped and bleeding. This could go very good or very bad. Either way, Jeff had put himself here, and it was either tame the bitch, like he'd said, or die. And Jeff was having far too much fun to give up the ghost now. Jeff got to his feet as smoothly as he could, wiping a fingerful of blood from his shoulder and licking at it.

"Aaaadam. Naughty little vamp. You don't want to waste me already, do you?" Jeff drawled. He stalked closer and knelt on the bed, waving his bloody finger under Adam's nose. "This is what you want, isn't it? But you can't take it yet. And you can't take it all. You want my sweet blood to last you forever."

Adam leaned forward to lick at Jeff's finger, but Jeff jerked away and slapped him across the face, hard. Adam rocked back, but not as much as Jeff was hoping. He flung his tresses back & stared at the blood, at Jeff, then grabbed Jeff's face in his hands, kissing him roughly.

"Now, Jeff," he breathed. "You need to take me now. Please.. need.." He laid back on the mattress, pulling Jeff on top again and spreading his long legs."Use your blood.. loosen me," the vampire begged. Jeff nodded, kissing down Adam's neck and gathering more blood before reaching down to spread it over his pucker. Jeff raised up to watch his red, dripping fingers sink into that pale ass. Holy shit.. fuck, no wonder Adam asked to be loosened. That tight hole would crush his cock. Adam squealed and arched, grinding down into Jeff's hand, and Jeff winced at the pressure. Damn vampire muscles. Jeff wiggled and twisted his fingers, digging and probing, trying to spread Adam apart. He added a third finger and fucked them in and out, watching Adam's lithe body squirm as he was prepped.

"Fuck, hurry," Adam moaned, fingers grasping at the sheets, belly sinking in as Jeff found his sweet spot. Adam trembled, cock leaking onto his belly. Fuck, he had to be ready by now. Jeff pulled his fingers out and scratched at his wound, getting more blood to wipe over his dick. He poised between Adam's legs, lining up with his bloody entrance and shoving his cock inside.

"Shit!" Jeff cried, groaning. His dick was suffocating, caught in a vice, and it fucking felt so good. Adam grabbed onto his shoulders as he started to thrust, wrapping those long legs around his waist and bucking up to meet him, babbling nonsense. One of his hands slipped, and Adam looked at the blood from Jeff's shoulder that now covered his palm. His eyes rolled back as he lapped at it, then reached between them to spread it over his own cock.

"Yes, Jeff... keep fucking me... please make me cum... need it..." Jeff felt Adam's hand between them and took over, jerking Adam's throbbing, aching cock as his own screamed for release.

"Come on, Adam. Cum for me. Drink from me. Want to feel your teeth in my skin..." Jeff tossed his hair to the side, exposing his neck so Adam could see the vein there pulse. Adam saw it, smelled it, felt Jeff taking him, touching him, and it was over. Adam bared his teeth and cried out, cock jerking against Jeff's fingers as he came. He pulled Jeff close, darting up to bite into that juicy vein, feeling his fangs pierce the skin, the hot blood flowing over his tongue and down his throat. That familiar heat enveloped Jeff, jolts of pleasure radiating from the bite across his skin, that deep burning in his veins making his head spin and sending him over, spilling into Adam's impossibly tight channel. Adam pulled away before he drained his lover, licking his lips before sinking his fangs into the lower, drawing just a bit of his own blood. He pulled Jeff down again and kissed him deeply. This was as much of his blood as Jeff would ever get at a time. Enough to keep him young and healthy, keep him bonded, not enough to turn him.

"You're mine now," Adam murmured happily. Jeff nodded.

"I guess I am. Are you mine, too?" Adam considered this a second, then nodded. "Then, what now?"

"Now," Adam said, glancing at the fading night through the blinds, "we go home."


	6. Good Clean Fun

**Debwood-1999, I'm glad to distract. LadyDragonsblood, Glad you enjoyed, hope to be working on it soon. Dashing Golden Dreams, We all love some vampire goodness. DesertEagle16, *snugs* Was happy to indulge you, my vampire whore. ;) Yeah, you know how i like to switch things up. JoMoFan-spot, I figured being a vamp, Adam can be a little more assertive. Glad you had fun w/it!  
><strong>

**Title: Rhi After Dark, chapter 6, Good Clean Fun  
><strong>**Summary: Adam proves that cleaning up can be so dirty. Crossdress, implied M/M**

**Very short, & again, not technically Rhi After Dark since this was done entirely over text message, but I'm counting it. I think with a little fleshing out it could turn into a real fic, but I figured for now it would be fun to post here. I was telling my friend, I'll call her A, that I needed a maid, & bless her heart, she indulged me for a bit...**

**A: What about Edge in a maid outfit?  
><strong>**Rhi: Oh lord, those mile-long legs in a short skirt with stockings..  
><strong>**A: *giggles* I was thinking one of those fluffy maid outfits, with the skirt so short his little white panties show when he bends over. Legs in stockings with garters and black heels...  
><strong>**Rhi: Fluffy white petticoats under the skirt, black stockings with the seam running down the back..  
><strong>**A: Tight bodice, clinging to his pecs and his hair pulled back in a little bun...  
><strong>**Rhi: Ooh ooh, high ponytail. I'm such a bitch for his hair in a high ponytail. Bodice low cut in the back to show off his back muscles & the long line of his neck. Big white bow.  
><strong>**A: Little white apron attached to the bow, with that ass shifting and ponytail swinging every time he takes a step...**

**Then I get a little carried away.**

If Adam's feeling particularly naughty, he'll "forget" his little panties. The lace of the petticoats brushing over his stiffening cock with every step, tickling his balls. The fluffiness of the skirt hiding his erection and it bobs against the fabric, making him sway his hips even more just for the sweet sensation. He bends over, feeling so deliciously exposed when the air hits the tops of his thighs, baring just a hint of cheeks.

He knows not to spread his legs too wide when he bends. If the master of the house catches him not in full uniform, he'll be punished. Adam slinks around the house on his assigned tasks, vacuuming, dusting, throbbing. Finally he gets to his master's bedroom. He makes the bed, sliding his hands over the sheets where his master sleeps, where he jacks off and sweats and fucks and Adam can take it no more. He ducks into the master bath.

He doesn't do this often, but every once in a while.. He chooses a bottle. It's different every time. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash. This time he needs more, something that won't wash away.. Face lotion. Perfect. He unscrews the top and sits on the counter, lifting his skirt out of the way and groaning at his own touch. He glances at the mirror, watching himself jerk off into the bottle, thinking about his master getting ready for the day, stepping naked out of the shower and rubbing the maid's cum over his cheeks in little white globs..

It doesn't take Adam long.

He screws the top back onto the bottle and shakes it up before replacing it on the counter. He cleans up - he is a maid after all - and leaves the bathroom. Of course, now his skin under the petticoats is red and sensitized, the lace scraping against him now, a more tortuous pleasure, and the dirty, secret thing he's done is driving him mad with heat..

The front door shuts, keys jingle. Master is home. Adam trots downstairs to greet him, making sure his skirt is hiked up in back just a little more than usual. Adam feels the need to be punished. The end.


	7. Caught You

**LadyDragonsblood, Hehe, sorry i left you hangin. Maybe someday i'll expand on that.. honestly, i don't know who the Master is right now, chose whomever you please! JoMoFan-spot, Ah, i've teased another one. I'm sure someday Adam will be good & punished. ;) takers dark lover, thank you so much! I always appreciate your feedback. :)  
><strong>

**Also not technically a twitterfic, since i typed this up on tumblr one night. But i linked it on twitter, so it counts. Set during RAW, 6 Aug 2012. Jericho's POV.**

That was bullshit. It was enough of a bummer that Christian had to do the job for Alberto - a guy who, in my opinion, they needed to re-package before he'd go anywhere – but tapping immediately? Christian didn't deserve that, especially after the great matches we had last week, and I was going to tell him that.

I knew he'd been unhappy lately. They'd given him a consolation run with the Intercontinental title, but it wasn't like they'd done anything with his reign. It didn't keep him from feeling like a second-class Superstar. Sure, I was losing too, but frankly, I'd wanted to put Punk over at 'Mania, just like I wanted to put Dolph over now. I actually had stories, and while I'll admit some disappointment over the Rumble and Money in the Bank, it was good for my current storyline, and wrestling wasn't the world to me like it was to Christian. I'm still befuckled by how I managed to be a bigger star. The real kick in the nuts was, we all knew he'd set the world on fire with a froot storyline, but they just weren't interested in building Christian. He was feeling like his window of opportunity had shut. I didn't want my buddy to leave his career, but right now I wasn't sure why he'd stay. I know I wouldn't.

I hurried along the corridor in my pink shirt and blue jeans, wanting to catch him before he left the arena. Maybe invite him out for a drink after I was done on commentary. When I opened the door to the locker room I expected to see my old friend getting dressed, or drying what was left of his hair and wearing a towel around his waist. I did not expect to see him jacking off.

Now, I understand needing to blow off a little steam after a frustrating match, but he couldn't even make it back to the hotel? What was he, fourteen? But there he was, sitting on the other end of the bench with his back to me, tights halfway down his hips and showing his ass crack, legs spread and arm a-pumpin. I bit back my first response, which was to point and laugh, in favor of shutting the door and getting out my cell. He hadn't even locked the door for fuck's sake, and I was going to threaten this sloppy motherfucker with Tout until he agreed to pick up my bar tab tonight. Fuck, I love technology.

I pulled up my camera and focused the screen on Christian's back, still glistening with sweat from his match as his arm moved, muscles in his shoulder and over his ribs shifting. His blond head was bowed, and by the hisses and grunts he was making I knew I was just in time. Oh yeah, I remembered his getting-close noises very well. The way his cheeks would puff and his nose would wrinkle before he grit his teeth and snarled... I felt the corner of my mouth lift in a smile at the fond memories as I pressed record.

Seconds later Christian tossed his head back with a sharp cry that turned to a groan, then looked back down, jerking himself harder.

"Ahhyeah... that's it. Uhm, fuuuuck... so fucking hot..." he growled, and I had to cover my mouth and double over to keep my laughter silent, still training the phone's camera on the unsuspecting porn star. He panted and hummed, then I heard a wet slapping noise before he chuckled. Oh, this was gonna be rich. He wouldn't be so amused in a moment.

As I looked up to see what he was giggling at, Christian pulled a fistful of red hair up from his lap. I hadn't even noticed that shadow crouched between his legs, and now I stared in shock as Christian licked a whiskered cheek before capturing pouting lips, kissing thoroughly. As the blond pulled back I was met with a pair of sparkling brown eyes, a streak of white dripping comically between them.

"Ah, shit!" Heath said, smacking Christian's arm. "You forgot to lock the door!"

Christian looked over his shoulder and saw me with my phone, and I grinned as he tucked himself away. "Goddammit, Chris!"

I gave them a sheepish little wave as I stopped the camera, then bolted for the door. Well, I just discovered one reason he stayed with the company. This oughta be worth a bar tab for at least a month... as long as he didn't catch me!


	8. Morning Breath

**LadyDragonsblood, Yeah, i'm predictable. Jeri will be back someday, i'm sure. Can't tie him down for long, he's just too busy, lol. JadeRose1, Knowing Jay, he will. Blazing Glory, I do think Christian deserves more, but right now i'd just be happy to see him. Thanks! Esha Napoleon, Thank you! & thank you to 'guest' who didn't leave a name! From now on review replies will be by PM, thank you all for your feedback, i just love it!**

**This was just a writing exercise i posted on twitlonger. I wanted to write Jay & Heath waking up together. ****There's really no point to it, just a scene. No forethought or proofreading, just typing.**

**Chapter 8: Morning Breath**

"Time to wake up, precious," the voice cooed, invading Heath's sleep. A soft kiss dropped on his ginger-stubbled cheek, and Heath shifted, burying his face further into the pillow. "Wake-y wake-y eggs and bac-eyyyy..."

"Noo," Heath moaned, and pulled the covers tighter around himself. After a few seconds, a finger poked his side, disturbing his journey back to dreamland. "Quit," he said, muffled by the pillow. But he knew it wouldn't quit. He hadn't heard any alarms go off yet, it had to be too early. He was so tired...

The covers slid down his shoulders, being pulled by an evil hand. Fuck, it was cold out there! "Stop!" Heath whined, clawing at the blankets & tearing them away from his attacker, then jumped as his side was poked again. "Motherfucker, eat me!"

"Did that last night. Gotta get up now," the gentle voice insisted.

"Fuck your get up!" Heath insisted right back. He still wasn't quite conscious, and he hadn't opened his eyes or lifted his head from its spot on the pillow, despite his thrashing. He grumbled to himself, uttering a louder "fuck you" here and there as he settled back in. He sighed a little, quieting, and his breath deepened and evened out.

"Come on, baby," that mind-wrenchingly sweet voice sing-songed, and the covers slipped away again. Heath squealed in irritation and put the most menacing tone in his voice he could muster.

"I will burn you alive and rape your ashes, now lemme 'lone!"

A soft chuckle of amusement was not the reaction that the redhead had been going for. Calloused fingers brushed his long hair from his face. "Such a mighty pout." The bed dipped and Heath cracked one bloodshot, puffy eye open to glare at his boyfriend. Jay lounged next to him, propped up on one elbow, his blond hair tousled and his own eyelids still droopy from slumber. "Time to go to the gym."

Heath groaned and changed tactics, moving to nuzzle into Jay's chest and wrap arms around him, enfolding him in his sleep-warm body. Jay draped an arm around his shoulders and sighed contently. Their bare skin pressed together, Jay's soft, light body hair tickling Heath's smooth chest and stomach as he burrowed into the blonde's embrace. They lay in their hotel bed locked together for a few moments, Heath letting the rise and fall of Jay's chest and the steady sound of his heartbeat lull him back to sleep, and Jay feeling the swell of his lover's half-hard cock against his thigh. Neither wanted to move.

With another sigh, Jay squeezed Heath's shoulders and kissed his hair. "Okay, precious. Let's get out of bed." He tried to release the redhead, but Heath just held him tighter, shaking his head. Jay kissed his temple and started to push him away, but Heath growled and bit at Jay's nipple.

"Hey!" Jay cursed and jerked away, his own hand darting to tweak Heath's plush nipple in retaliation, making the other man squeak and wiggle his fingers in Jay's armpit. Jay knocked his hand away, giggling, and rolled Heath to his back, tickling the sides of his waist where the blond knew he was most ticklish. Heath screeched and wiggled, grabbing at Jay's wrists.

"No no no! Stop..." Heath managed between giggles. "Don't, oh my god I gotta pee.."

An evil smirk lifted the corner of Jay's lips. "Why you starting tickle fights when you gotta pee so bad, huh?" He splayed one large hand on Heath's lower belly and pressed down. "That's not too smart." He bounced his palm directly over Heath's suddenly aching bladder, and the redhead shouted and squirmed.

"Not funny! You bastard..." Heath leaped out of bed and scampered to the bathroom. "I hate you," he called to the man cackling on the bed.

"I hate you too, precious," Jay replied, then got up to pull on some workout pants and a tee before he followed. "At least it finally got you out of bed."

Heath stood naked in front of the toilet, scratching his ass and letting his boner calm enough to aim before sighing and letting go. "I never heard the alarms go off. What time is it?" he asked with a yawn.

"About 8:30." Jay smirked a little at his partner's groan as he picked up a bottle of hair gel and squirted some on his fingers. "I woke up early & turned 'em off, let you sleep an extra half hour."

"Gee, thanks. It's still too early," Heath grumbled, shaking the last droplets off his dick and flushing, then saw what Jay was doing in the mirror. "Are you seriously doing your hair before going to the gym?"

"Gotta look good. You never know, I might meet some hot young pretty boy who wants me to flex for him," Jay said, quirking an eyebrow as he finished his spikes.

Heath came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his neck at the hairline. "I better be the only hot young pretty boy you flex for, you vain bastard. Hm, you need to do your roots," he said, picking at the blond hair that was starting to show grey at the temples. Like Heath's freckles, it was something that didn't show on camera very well, but Jay had taken to coloring it just the same. He may have been getting older, but he didn't act old, and Heath thought he was more beautiful than ever. He was about to tell him so when Jay jerked his head away.

"Dude! Maybe my next hot young boy toy will wash his hands after he takes a piss."

Heath giggled as Jay turned to face him and kissed his lips. "Sorry, you're stuck with me." He rubbed his hand over Jay's face as the blond cringed and made disgusted noises, then ducked back into the bedroom to get dressed.

"Oh, you brat!" Jay yelled, stalking after him. "When we get back, you are so getting a spanking."

"Promises, promises," Heath said, now clad in long shorts and a tank, putting his hair up in a ponytail and giving his butt a little wiggle. "We stopping for breakfast first?"

"There's a continental downstairs if you want that," Jay answered, picking up his bag. Heath nodded, checking his iPod and tucking it into his own bag before Jay grabbed him around the waist and pulled him close. "Hey. I love you."

A smile crossed Heath's lips as his brown eyes softened. "I love you too, Jay." Their mouths met in a sweet, lingering kiss before they left the hotel room, grinning.


	9. Hott Chicks With Guns, or Danger Fox

**Chapter 9: Hott Chicks with Guns, or Danger Fox**

**Mainly inspired by Heath's tweet about owning a Magnum (which I assumed was a .38 revolver) & when I asked him if he was any good he said he hit everything he aimed at. About a quarter way thru this scene i realized it wouldn't work with the rest of Jeff's bday party i have planned, but i kept writing the damn thing, so i decided i'd just Twitlonger it, & here it is. Just Southern boys being Southern boys & one confuzzled Canadian.**

"Man on the field!"

Shannon scampered to one of Jeff's statues in the backyard, setting empty bottles and cans on whatever surface would hold them. Jay watched, hearing other partiers inside the house and Matt behind him grilling on the deck.

"Last round, guys," Jeff said, his Remington rifle held by the barrel and pointing at the sky."We're starting to lose light." He took a pull from the beer in his other hand and Jay grimaced.

"Aren't you supposed to not drink while handling guns?" he asked.

"Man, you sound like Adam," Jeff said with a grin. There was a reason he only went out shooting when his blonde was coming home late. "We've had one six-pack, chill."

Jay shook his head. True, one six-pack wasn't going to make much of a dent in three grown wrestlers' sobriety, but still. This was one time he didn't mind sounding like Adam, especially where his boyfriend was involved. His boyfriend who, at the moment, was draining his own beer, his handgun sitting on the table with the rest of the guns and ammo.

When Jeff had mentioned he and Shannon were going to do some shooting on his birthday, Heath had begged Jay to let him bring his Magnum. Jay didn't even like the thought of Heath owning one, much less carrying it in his car, but the vixen often felt out of place among Jay's friends. It didn't help that Heath had grown up idolizing half of them. Jay really couldn't blame the kid for jumping at the chance to find some common ground with them outside the ring. That didn't mean he had to love it.

"Shannon!" Heath yelled. "Here's another!" He tossed the empty bottle in Shannon's direction, and Shannon picked it up to set it with the others Jay had gathered from party.

He bounded back to the group at the table and picked up his Marlin .22, shouting, "All clear! We each get four, who's up? Birthday boy?"

"You know it," Jeff said, setting his beer on the table. He stepped up and took his shots, taking time to aim and sending three cans flying and a bottle bursting. The other two cheered as Jeff raised his gun and hollered in victory. Heath slapped Jeff's back as he set down his rifle and Jeff clasped his hand, giving the redhead a shoulder bump and laughing before grabbing his beer. Jay couldn't help but smile to see them getting along.

Shannon stepped up next, raising his camo-painted rifle and looking down the scope. He hit two targets, then swore when the next bullet pinged off the aluminum of the sculpture.

"Cut him off!" Jeff teased, and Heath snorted, hiding a snicker. Shannon glared back at the redhead, who shrugged innocently, then proceeded to hit the next two bottles.

"Let's see you do better, Red," Shannon said.

"Yeah, go for it, Cherry," Jeff smirked, nodding towards the sculpture.

Heath replied with a "Wooo!" and grabbed his gun, reloading as he stepped forward.

"Let's make this interesting," Shannon suggested.

"Let's not," Jay said.

"Interesting how?" Heath asked, and Jay groaned as Jeff giggled. Shannon cocked his hip, resting the butt of his rifle on it.

"I bet you can't hit four targets in ten seconds, not miss one. I got five hundred bucks that will back me up," the mohawked man said. Heath narrowed his eyes.

"I'll do you one better. After I hit those four, Jeff throws his bottle in the air and I hit that, too. Worth another five bills to ya?" He raised a ginger brow and puckered his lips in a smirk. Shannon grinned back and spit in his palm, then held his hand out to shake on it.

"That's a bet."

Heath spit in his own palm and they shook, and Jeff nudged Jay. "Hot chicks with guns, man, huh?"

Jay rolled his eyes. Southerners.

Heath shook his hair back, gun trained on the ground, and lifted his left hand to point at the four bottles, mouthing "pow" at each one, getting in the zone. He then twisted to point at the bottle still in Jeff's hand, mouthed a final pow, and grinned before turning back to cock his gun and level it at the sculpture. He took a deep breath and stilled. "Time me, Daddy! Gimme a mark!"

Jay shrugged and looked at his watch, the second hand sweeping over the numbers. "Mark," he said, and Heath fired.

_Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

Four bottles shattered in quick succession, Heath's arms shifting from one target to the next as he squeezed the trigger. Before Shannon could do more than blink in surprise, Heath bellowed, "Launch!"

Jeff started, then tossed his near-empty bottle in a high, wide arc over the sculpture. Heath followed the trajectory with the barrel for a second then fired again, and spinning brown glass exploded in the air.

"Ho-lee SHIT!" Jeff cried, then burst into laughter.

"How the hell did you do that?" a wide-eyed Shannon asked. Heath himself looked stunned, then threw his head back and whooped.

"Did you fuckin see that?" he shouted at Jay, who just stared.

Matt called from the grill, "I saw it and I still don't believe it!"

The three gunmen hollered and hugged, Jeff and Shannon patting the redhead on the back. "I'm glad that was the last round," Jeff said. "Ain't gonna top that shit no how!"

"Ah man, I really thought I was gonna have to pay you a cool grand, Shannon," Heath said, giggling.

"Fuck that," Shannon said, shaking his head. "Come down to the shop tomorrow, I'll give you the cash and tattoo you for free."

"Sounds good, man. Thanks," Heath said, and turned his bright, wide smile on Jay as his blond approached.

"Um.. 'scuse me, guys.." Jay said, nudging Jeff aside and pointing at Heath's hand before taking it. "I need to.. borrow my boyfriend for a few minutes." He cleared his throat and dragged his vixen past Matt and into the house, heading for the guest room they were sharing during this weekend's visit. Heath giggled and tripped along behind him, waving at the catcalls Shannon and Matt were shouting.

"I told you, Jay!" Jeff cried. "Hott chicks with guns!"

"I know, I know!" Jay called back, ignoring the people gathered inside. Guns didn't usually turn Jay on, and he didn't know why he needed to fuck his vixen hard and dirty so bad right now, but he was not going to question it.


	10. Believe in 3MB

**Believe in 3MB  
>With Seth, Drew, &amp; Jinder now gone from their respective three-man factions, Heath comes up with an obvious plan.<strong>

Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose were getting ready in their locker room when the door banged open in an explosion of silver pants and red hair.

"Heyyy guys! How's it going?" Heath Slater asked in his cheerful drawl. He shut the door behind him and gazed around at the room, ignoring Roman's glare and Dean's raised eyebrows as he bounced past them. "This is some nice locker room y'all got here. Hey, there'd even be room for a third person! I mean, since Seth attacked you and all." Then Heath's back hit the wall and Roman had a fistful of his tattered shirt.

"No no no no," Dean said from behind the bulk of his partner. "You are not joining the Shield."

Fear flashed in Heath's eyes as Roman stared him down, but he swallowed it back and plastered a smile on his face. "No, of course not, man. I wouldn't ask to join the Shield."

"I didn't think so," Roman sneered, and loosened his grip, stepping back.

"I'm here to ask if y'all wanna join 3MB!"

Dean and Roman stared at each other for a second, then Dean broke down into hysterical laughter. He doubled over, holding his stomach and braying with mirth until even Roman chuckled and shook his head. Heath's smile twitched, but when he nodded and started to laugh along with them, Roman stopped and scowled. "Get out."

"Naw man, just hear me out," Heath started, but Dean's laughter stopped and suddenly Heath's vision was filled with heated blue eyes.

"You have nothing to say that we want to hear," Dean growled. "Now I suggest you strap your air guitar to your back and hit the road, before I find a way to beat that plump silver ass with it. And I assure you, I will. I will leave you a broken, bloody mess, and your little buddies aren't here to try and put the pieces back together anymore. Your band was a joke, and now your band is dead. If you wanna be dead too, by all means, keep talking."

To the surprise of all three of them, Heath drew himself up to his full height and tossed his hair back. "My band never betrayed each other."

Dean almost flinched, and Heath ignored the rumbling growl of the mountain beside him to focus on that flinch. "Triple H said Seth was the brains. Well I'll tell you, I'm the heart and I'm the fire, baybay. I'm the reason 3MB kept up and kept on. The Shield is all about egos clashing and force of will. 3MB man, we just wanna play! Did you ever see dissension in our ranks? But 3MB lacked what's it called, credibility. You two can bring that." A smile tugged at Heath's puckered lips. "And from the way you just talked about my plump, silver ass, I think you boys could use some play."

That time Dean did flinch back, and looked Heath up and down with wide eyes. "Hold on. Are you saying, you're offering your ass to get us to join your band?"

A sly smirk crept over Heath's lips. "Those cargo pants didn't hide a damn thing when we were tangled in the ring last week. I think I got plenty to offer if you join."

"You gotta be kidding me," Roman grumbled.

"No wait, let's hear him out," Dean said, rubbing his hands together. "Now, you mean both of us..?"

"Dean!"

Heath put his hands on his hips, his smile now cocky. "For band members? At the same time."

"Double penetration!" Dean exclaimed, slapping his hands together and gesturing at Heath wildly as he turned to Roman. "Seth never let us DP, Roman!"

"What do you got to lose?" Heath asked. "I'll keep you happy and together, and you can still kick ass. Plus, you get to wear leather and denim to the ring."

Roman's eyebrows lifted. "I _do_ look good in leather..."

"We're in," Dean declared. "Wait wait wait... that ass isn't blown out, is it? I mean, if you've done DP before..."

"One way to find out," Heath said with a little shimmy of his hips.

"I'll handle this," Roman said.

"You wanna handle this," Heath replied with a smirk. Roman rolled his eyes and held up his middle finger.

"Finger test. _Then_ we decide whether or not that ass is worth it."

"Fair enough, bro," Dean said with a nod.

Heath folded his arms over his chest, his mouth forming an indignant pout. "Hey now, that was not part of the deal."

"It's the deal now," Roman growled. Heath squeaked and threw up his hands as Roman's grey eyes bore into him.

"All right, man. All right." With a huff and a grumble, Heath turned to the wall and tugged his tights down in back. He braced his forearms on the wall and gave a teasing wiggle when he heard a low whistle from Dean. A sharp smack landed on one exposed cheek. "Hey!"

"Sorry, couldn't help it," Dean said, and Heath rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, I get that all the time. Wait, dammit Roman, use some lube!" Silence as Roman and Dean looked at each other. "Ugh, at least spit on it. Damn."

Dean tapped his foot and rubbed his arm as he waited for the result. "Well? Come on man, tell me!"

Roman looked from his buried finger to his impatient friend. "Dude."

o~o~o

Heath Slater limped to Gorilla position and took a deep breath. He bounced around a bit, letting himself wince and shaking out his arms as he addressed his bandmates. "You boys ready?" There was no time for an answer as 3MB's music hit, and Heath's face broke into a wide smile. He ignored his pain and stepped through the curtain. Dean and Roman looked at each other in their new gear, Roman in leather pants and Dean in jeans and a leather jacket. They smiled.

"Worth it," they told each other as one, and leaped out to the ramp.


End file.
